It’s taken me quite some time to be able to sit down and write my “final words” to you… Truthfully, I kind of allowed myself that wild hope for your recovery, and even to speak with you again. But I knew in my heart that I wouldn’t make it in time.
This past weekend, I spent a lot of time with your family. They are all great people, and I want you to know that I will keep in contact with them. I know that you would have wanted that. Cierra will still have a brother, I promise you that.
I’ve also heard a lot of stories about you, and the more I hear, the more I realize how similar we are in attitude. Its odd, that I grew up without ever knowing you, yet duplicated so many of your mannerisms.
It’s really difficult for me to say goodbye. This world truly is cruel. After years upon years of curiosity, agonizing questions, and mystery of my biological father, I finally connected with you… Only to lose you, yet again. There simply wasn’t enough time to receive the answers to life’s questions. And I think that’s what I’m struggling with the most. The lack of time spent with you.
I wish you would have lasted long enough to see your Grand daughter. (Good call by the way.) She loves you, and dances when I tell her your stories. I wish you had the chance to meet Monica, too. She asked about you often, and wanted to travel with me, badly.
I miss you. I still haven’t allowed myself to let it sink in that I wont hear you speak again. Or hear you sing your songs. See you dance. Or get the chance to get in the ring with you.
You’re still the greatest mystery in my life. There were so many things that I still needed to know. So many questions I still had. I’m very thankful for the time we were given together. But it still seems as if it were a single painting in what should have been a gallery.
If I tried for the rest of my life, I don’t think I could forget the two weeks we spent together. You, and the stories I have from our time will live on. When my daughter, Phoenix is old enough, I’ll tell her about you. And I’m sure she will always cherish the Rattle you made for her.
Thank you for everything, Sha Awa. I hope you’re having a big time Hunting with the Old people. I’m sure I’ll see you there one day. Until then, you’ll know where to find me.
With love,
Drew Ward Persinger.
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